Would it be worth it?

This is a hard post for me to write.
I have spoken in past posts about body image and my lack of confidence. I avoid magazines and news articles because of the pressure it can to look a certain way. Yet everyday I look at myself and hate the way I look. I hate what I see.
I hate my thighs and how chunky they look,
I hate my hair and how thin and flat it is,
I hate my skin and how big my pours are,
I hate my boobs and how small there are,
I hate my belly and how flabby it is,
I hate how much of a belly I have.

I find it hard to look at myself and see something I like.
For the past few days I have been thinking about maybe going to see my doctor about it. It’s something I have been battling for around 10 years. I could never stop eating as I love food, but trying to self myself I am not as fat as I think I am is hard. I don’t want to waste the doctors time they have more important patients to treat. I don’t want to go to the doctors for them just to stick me on anti-depression tablets, I don’ want them to send me to counselling, but I need to get this sorted. I am stuck in what to do.

If you felt the same way what would you do?

Sorry if this post offends anyone, that is not my intention.

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Would it be worth it?

  1. Based on my own experiences, I do recommend seeing a counselor and one that specializes in eating disorders. There may be some things a doctor can do as far as referrals to nutritionists and evaluating for biological factors to rule out any physiological concerns. How you see yourself, regardless of what the mirror shows, really is in your head. A counselor is better equipped to help you understand, accept, and change if need be. Best wishes! You are NOT alone.

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    • I’m really worried about seeing someone. I’m worried my family and my husband will see me as a failure or attention seeking which I am not far from it. It’s hard finding someone who understands, every time I think abut going to the doctors i’m worried that they will just palm me off saying that it’s nothing and make up some excuse to why I feel like this.

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  2. While it is hard to face judgment from your family and friends, your relationship with yourself is much more important. The fact that you are self-reflective enough to recognize that your thoughts are problematic and are making you miserable means that you are on the right path. You are already at the point of thinking about seeing someone, so I suggest giving it a try and seeing what happens. Based on my experience, look online for a psychologist with a PhD, not a general counselor or psychiatrist. A good psychologist will help you sort through your thoughts, help your understand their sources, and get them under control.

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