Bite the bullet

Well I did it. I have taken the next step in trying to sort myself out. I have phoned my doctors and have an appointment on Wednesday, as Wednesday is photo challenge day I will have to update you all next Thursday.
I’m not sure how to feel at the moment. There is a lot going on in my mind, today hasn’t helped matters, my two eldest have made a very stressful afternoon. Having 2 so close in age is very hard work when all they want to do is fight each other or run around the shops making me look like the bad parent because I am shouting at them. I wanted to cry in the middle of the high street today. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take having to keep shouting at them asking them to stay with me and not to run off, I couldn’t take people staring at me. I just wanted to cry and let it all out, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let people see me letting everything get to me, I didn’t want to have a break down in the middle of the high street. I just want a hug. I want my husband to come into the bedroom and give me a hug, tell me everything is ok even though its not, but he’s currently snoring on the sofa in the living room. I can hear him and it irritates the hell out of me. Not the fact that he’s a sleep at 9:30 in the evening just the sound of him snoring. I can’t that sound. its more like a loud breathing.
I just turned to my 4 month old, he smiled at me then started blowing a raspberry.

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