Ok so this is a one off. Usually on a Wednesday I would just do a photo challenge post but as today was the day I went to the doctors I thought an update was in order. I thought about posting it tomorrow but didn’t want to wait in cause I forgot about what’s going through my head at the moment.
I had a nice early appointment which was handy in a way as my eldest had speech therapy an hour later at the same place.
I went into the doctors room, a doctor I had never met before. She seemed nice at first. I sat down, “so what can I help you with today” she said. I tried talking over my crying 2nd born, he doesn’t really like being around new people. I told her that I hated the way I feel about my body, told her I feel my legs and my belly are too chunky and that my boobs are too small for my body. I tried to tell that I felt fat. She asked how much I weighed. I told her I didn’t know I don’t like weighing myself. Should have told her that my husband won’t let me weigh myself as if he did I would be doing it 15 to 20 times a day. She weighed me. I didn’t look at the scales. I was scared to see how much I weighed. While I was stood on the scales I couldn’t help but think maybe I should have taken my boots off, they might weigh quite a bit. She then said “8 stone, good for your height”. I didn’t want hear good. Good to me is its ok but you could do with losing some weight. She blamed the fact that I have 3 kids close in age for the way I feel and said it’s all in my head. She then gave me a phone number to ring to get therapy. She said it was counselling but looking on the website of the number I was giving they are a therapy group.
I felt like I wasn’t listen to. Like she didn’t want to waste her time on me, like me going was just pointless. I feel like I haven’t been helped at all.
I told my husband how it went, he suggested ring them but after looking on there site I told it wasn’t counselling and the therapy sessions were over the phone. When I told him that he said “Get an appointment with your doctor”.
I like my doctor, every time I have seen him for something I have come out feeling like he has listened and he has helped. I am hoping if I was to see him about this he would actually listen and he will actually do more then what the doctor I saw today has done and not blame me having had 3 kids. I don’t think she heard the bit where I said it’s been going on around 10 11 years possibly longer. My eldest has just turned 3. So yea this is not from having kids!