I wish it would get easier

Well came back off holiday Monday, had a great time so much so I want to take my boys next year. Now I am back though the worrying about everything is back, the depression is back, the whole hating my body is back. I’m finding it all hard to cope with. I feel my family don’t understand. I would love to be able to have someone to sit there and talk to about it all that I know and that has gone through this, but there isn’t anyone. My mum in law has gone through depression and bdd but I still feel she doesn’t quite understand. She always wanted to gain weight me however wants to lose it. I want my college body back. I lack motivation which is my main problem. I think the depression is partly to blame for that. I think once I have over come depression I can start getting my life the way I want it. For me to be happy with my body most of the time and not just once in a blue moon, for us to have money problems and me contently worrying do we have enough for bills and enough to feed ourselves. I want to be happy again. Feel like I did when I was on holiday where I didn’t worry so much. I am hoping the next few months will bring a nice change. A new start, a happier start, less stress, less worrying about things.

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