Need a release

I just need something that will lift all this weight and emotion off of me. I need to find something where I can just feel like everything is better without medication or doing something stupid. I don’t want to have to take medication. I feel that it wouldn’t be me if I was taking them, and as for doing something stupid I could never do that. I love my family far too much for that.
My mental heath the last week has not been great. I have been so low, the lowest I have ever been, I thought about maybe just cutting a little and then quickly thought what would be the point? what good would that do? I don’t want all the questions of why did you do that. I don’t want my kids taken away from me. I don’t want something that is only going to give me a short release. I want a long release.
I did find that drawing and colouring helped.
Something that really helped me feel better about myself what a few days ago while I was out shopping with my boys. A complete stranger stopped me and said “you look really good by the way” after trying to get me to stop so he could talk about a charity, i’m all for helping charities but was really not feeling it that day. Whether he said to try and get me to listen to the work he dose or because he generally meant it it made me feel better and it was just the pick me up I needed.

Mental health issues are not fun. There are so many out there and people still feel ashamed to hear that people have these issues.
When I was told I have depression, anxiety, body disphmoier and an eating disorder I felt disappointed in myself. I felt that my husband deserved someone better. Why should he have to cope with my wacky emotions?
I think more people need  to be made aware that mental health is nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s something most people suffer with at one time or another. It’s not something that just comes and goes as quick as a cold, it takes years to get through it and come out the other side and my story is just beginning.


One thought on “Need a release

  1. I’m touched by what you wrote. I don’t necessarily like it but I’m touched by it. Unfortunately, there’s only a ‘like’ button.


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