Going to burst!!!

Ahhhhh, need to rant. Sorry maybe a long one.
New years eve my husband ended our marriage. We have been together 11 years. Married for 6. He told me he just doesn’t love me that way anymore.
New years day he tells me he kissed another girl.
He cheated on me, knowing how bad my depression has got, knowing I have low self-esteem, knowing he promised me nothing had happened!
He spends most of his time on his phone. 90% of that he is on his phone to her. Talking to her on messenger. He is currently  up stairs talking to her now. Has been for about 40 minutes. As far as his parents know we are trying to give our marriage another go. There is NO trying on his part, he doesn’t want us to work. I on the other hand do.
I feel like I need him, despite him putting me down when I feel good about myself (that’s never his intension he just doesn’t think) Despite him saying he’ll do things and then doesn’t has still hasn’t 2 days later and most of the time longer then that. He is all I have ever known. Come on I have been with him since I was 17.

I don’t think it would hurt so much if he wasn’t still talking to the girl he cheated on me with day in day out. Or if he hadn’t kept lieing to me about doing something with her.

On a good note though, I told my brother about the spilt and he’s going to help me with getting things I need for the new home, when I get a new home. Should be in the next 3 months as have a few charities helping me once the ball gets rolling. The husband will have moved out by the end of the month. I’m just thankful this is not a messy spilt.

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