Unexpected turn in events

So it’s been a while since I last posted, so I think it’s  a little over due.
Well the meds are working, i’m feeling so much happier then I did at the start of the year. The last few weeks have made me wonder what it was I saw in him. I thought about it a few times and struggling to come up with an answer. There must have been something but right now I can’t think of that is.
Someone told me you meet people in life for a reason. Was I meant to meet and marry him so I could meet Mr Right. I don’t know, only time will tell for that one.

So the unexpected turn in events. A few days after my last post I signed up to a site after remember seeing my soon to be ex husband on it. He says he was just on it for swiping. Anyway, the same day I signed up I started talking to someone. We met up the next day, and have talked every day since, minus one day. We have hung a few times as well. We haven’t really spoken about our relationship status but there’s defiantly something there. It’s nice having someone who makes me feel like me again and not just mummy or house wife. He makes me happy again, everyone has noticed how much happier I am and that is thanks to him and the meds.


Family post


My eldest has been off nursery all week due to having conjunctivitis in both eyes which ended up giving him a cyst in one of them, luckily it went away with treatment so now he can go back to nursery tomorrow.  I feel really sorry for him, in the last year or two he has had conjunctivitis 4 or 5 times. The doctor noticed he has had it a few times and its not something that is usually recurring, but thinks it might be the his body reacts to a cold or infection. I’ve told my husband next time he gets it I am taking him straight to a hospital with a walk in centre to get down to the bottom of why he keeps getting it. It can’t be doing any good for his eyes.

That corner of his eye went so red I was surprised it was not bothering him.

Anyway this week we have started packing ready for when we move. We have no idea when we will move or where we will be moving too. We just want to be ready this time, be more prepared so it’s nit left to just me trying to do with 3 little ones to do deal with.
Today the weather has been really nice. We live right near the sea front so took this opportunity to get a bit of food shopping done not really thinking about the traffic getting back. Where we live there is only one way on and off the island. Traffic backed up a good 2 3 miles to get onto the island and that was on a small 2 laned A road or is it a B road. I think its a B road.
I have been getting the final bits for my holiday next weekend. I really can’t wait, as much as I am going to miss my boys and my husband I really need a break from everything, even more so with the way my mental issues have been lately.
Wednesday my husband had to take time off work because I was that bad. not hurt myself bad, would never do that but more worried sick bad. not being able to eat or drink because I just felt that sick and anxious.

Last night I was looking at old photos of my eldest of when he was a baby and thinking how much my youngest looks like him.
The 1st one is my eldest and 2nd is my youngest. I just think they look so alike. It makes me think will my youngest end up growing always looking simualar to my eldest?


Sunday family post

Well this week as been pretty good

Monday the two eldest had a dentist appointment. 2nd born (kyle) when on the chair no problems started crying when asked to open his month. Handy in a way as he cries with his mouth open. 1st born (james) refused to go the chair and refused to open his mouth.

Tuesday we went to my mum in laws as I had my first phone call from a therapist. My mum in law took the two eldest over to feed the ducks so I could do my call with out them distracting me. 45 minutes I was on the phone. They asked so many questions trying to figure out what triggered everything. I score high for depression and anxiety.

Wednesday I had a dentist appointment I got a tooth taken out so it meant my boys were at my mum in laws, she sent me home after so I could rest where I had the therapist call me again asking more questions.

Thursday we stayed in. so not really much happened other then me cleaning the living room 4 times so the boys still had room to play.

Friday we went into town. I needed to get some compost so I could plant some herb seeds. I want to make my own little herb garden. Phoned my sister in law to tell her that a store had a reduced baby monitor then got invited round my mum in laws. Hubby had his medical for the forces. He passed. we are one step closer to being a military family again. Hubby’s sister’s husband wants to join the forces as well, a different one from my hubby as they do more of the career he wants.

Yesterday both the eldest two put their bottles in the bin. I cut of the teat to James’s showed him the bottle and told him it was broken, asked him to put it in the bin for me which he replied “oh no, broken, bin”. Kyle then ran and grabbed his bottle said bin and threw his in the bin. That night I was expecting it to be harder then it was. They didn’t even ask for their bottles once.

Today I made a chicken casserole. James who never tries anything, hates anything brightly coloured unless its sweets actually ate it. He was picking out the carrots to eat them first, saying yum as he ate them. He drew all over the walls this afternoon but the fact that he ate carrots or even tried my casserole has made me so proud of him. This weekend he really has given me reasons to be proud of him.


Sunday: Family post

With it being Easter Sunday it’s even more of an excuse to spend time with the family. I don’t know why we do it, we’re not religious but its what we have done for years. We went and saw my step mum and had a good conversation there, mainly about how my sister wants nothing to do with her yet still wants her to looks after her little girl. I told her about my BDD and explained that it had just been getting worse and its why I went to the doctor in the first place. The media really doesn’t help when it comes to things like BDD. There are far too many commenting being about how fat the nation is getting it is no wonder why there are people so worried about their body and how the look.
After seeing my step mum we went to hubby’s parents. where we had a lovely beef and pork roast. I actually got to hug my husband for a little while before our 2 year old came over crying because daddy is his. On the subject of my 2 year old. He did make me laugh the other day.
Me: Kyle, guess what
Kyle: What
Me: Love you
Kyle: It’s ok.

He has more understanding on things then my 3 year old. I think sometimes they try and go alone the same line when it comes to this subject as my 3 year is behind yet my 2 year old is  a little ahead.

While at my in laws we sat their watching my youngest (almost 5 months) trying to figure out if he is going to be a lefty or a righty. We think left. Just because its the hand he as more control with, the one he seems to favour. I would love for him to be a lefty. at least then I won’t be the only lefty in the household.

This little bit is for all my UK readers. As I type this I can hear the wind rattling my windows and the rain pouting them. Storm Katie has arrived, or the tail end of her at least. I hope you all stay safe and there is not too much damage where you are.


Weekly photo challenge: One Love

Usually I would do this on a Wednesday but as i’m am not sure if I will be online tomorrow I thought I would post today. After this photo challenge I will be doing them on a Saturday.

This week’s photo challenge is one love. I knew exactly what or should I say my one love is, but trying to get a photo of him that I was happy with has proven my most challenging yet. One love has a different meaning to everyone. For some one love could an object. Maybe it’s something they seek comfort in. Others it could be a person.
My one love is my husband, a pain in the bum but he is someone I could not do without. He keeps me going when I have my bad days. He knows just the words to say to make be laugh.

It’s not the best of photos, I would have preferred a better one but he’s not all that photogenic. This was taken shortly after my 2nd son was born, I think around 3 months.



This is one of my favourite photos of us, it’s a day i’ll never forget. Although times I wish I didn’t go for the first dress I tried on but it was the dress I pictured when he popped the question.