Mothers Day

It’s Sunday, so that means a post about family. It’s also mothers day. So firstly Happy mothers day to all you mums and mums to be out there. I hope you all had a good day and got spoilt even if it was just your other half doing some washing for you haha.
So today started off with my husband letting the two eldest out of their room so they good give me my mothers day card. Eldest just came in my room, card in hand and said “here ya”. he’s 3 so did not expect much but it was cute non the less, 2nd born came after said “hi” and walked out again. A little while later my husband came in with 2 slices of toast for me, so that was my breakfast in bed. I still felt bad that I could not eat it all. I rarely eat in the morning. Usually because I forget to feed myself or i’m just not hungry.
We usually do a food shop on a Saturday but thought that everyone would be out doing last minute shops for their mums so decided we would do it today and it was just as busy.
After shopping my husband sent me out so I could do a bit of photography. I don’t often get the chance so it was nice to be able to get out on my own for a bit and capture some photos even if the weather wasn’t quite how I would have preferred it.

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This week has been pretty stressful. The two eldest have done nothing but cry, moan and do things they shouldn’t be doing. Oh and not listening. I’ve had quite a few people go “oh don’t you have your hands full” or “i know how you feel, I had 3 boys myself”. I often wonder if they do actually know how I feel then they say “but mine weren’t so close together as yours”. Well yea no, no you don’t know how I feel. I am a mixed bag of emotions at the moment and i’m hoping Wednesday will finally be the start of a better me and then I can continue this journey on becoming a more confident person.

Just lately me eldest has got into say “thank you much”. I have no idea where he has got it from. We have taught our boys manners from the moment they started trying to say words. So we know where the thank you has come from, just not the much added on the end. I must admit though it is really cute.

It was my dad’s birthday on the 4th. He would have been 52. This is the 2nd birthday without him. I remember his 50th. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, usually he would joke and say something like a Harley, knowing it was never going to happen, that year I got him a Phil Collins CD, I remember how he said that he would love to go see him perform as he had never had the chance to. I recently heard that he maybe touring again soon, my dad would have loved that. Anyway. The year of his 50th I asked the same question I did every year “dad, what do you want for your birthday” “don’t worry about me this year, it’s not like anyone bothers anyway”. It broke my heart to hear him say that ” well i’m getting your something anyway” “get it next year” he says. I don’t know if he knew then that there would not be a next year or not, but I know shortly before his death he did. About a week before he passed away I looked at a photo I had taken of him. it was a photo of him holding my 2nd born, then only a few days old. I remember thinking that it was the last photo I was going to get of him. I wanted to tell my dad he needed to change his life style and needed to change it quickly, I never thought for one second that a week later I would be stood by his bed in hospital hooked up to all the machines trying to keep him alive. On the anniversary of his death I will probably talk more about my dad. People say their parent are not just a parent but a best friend but my dad was truly that, He wasn’t just my dad, he was my best friend. Always knew when something was wrong. He never had to ask, he just knew.

Sorry for such a long post today and ending on such a downer.
Family are everything even if sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.

 

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